My affair with Alan didn't just happen overnight. I didn't wake up one morning and think 'I know, I'll start an affair today.' The affair was the result of things that happened over a long time and a mindset that that had been building up for years. There wasn't anything you could have done to stop it because it resulted from shit that was festering inside me, until I exploded." I don't understand. What was bothering you?" I asked bewildered."Let's start with my insecurity." She started with a self-depreciating smirk. "Did you ever wonder why I was so jealous of Heather? I was scared to death of her. When the two of you started to spend so much time together I was petrified that you would fall in love with her and leave me." But..." I spluttered. "That's ridiculous. I must have told you a hundred times that there was nothing going on between us. I even told you why I wasn't interested in her. Why didn't you believe me? Did I ever give you any reason to think that I wanted anyone but. ..I don't deserve your attention in any way, but I am so glad you are bestowing it on me....I will strive every day to please my master in my words and my actions...both sexually and non, both in BDSM scenes and at all times...I love that you are a real man - one who can take charge and lead me and be the Master that you are...I know there are times when Master will be frustrated with his slut for her lack of experience and possibly for her indiscretions or periods of disobedience...I only hope that he will punish me fairly as I so deserve and as he sees fit...and I will willingly accept these punishments as part of my training to become the best slut to my master that I can be...I look forward to when he first texts me or notifies me that he is coming...to getting dressed/undressed as appropriate and placing on the collar that signals I am his and his alone...to kneeling by the back door waiting to hear the door knob turn, my eyes downcast as I am not fit to meet his gaze...to when.
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