” she began. “What are we?”I groaned, taking another lick of my ice cream. “Are we really doing this now?”“I guess we are. Might as well, right?”“But we’re out of the house. I don’t wanna taint the memory of us getting ice cream with…”Molly laughed out loud, interrupting me. “With us communicating, with us acknowledging how fucked-up we are?”I laughed in turn. “Sure.”“I mean, it’s in the back of our minds. Every time we hang out, it’s already tainted in some way. As long as we’re mature about it, I don’t think addressing it is going to do much.”“But if we talk about it every time, then we’re going to associate hanging out with talking about this, and all those bad memories. Hanging out will be synonymous with ‘let’s talk out our feelings,’ not ‘let’s have a good time.’ It would be nice to just… hang out. Not worry. Feel at ease, feel comfortable with each other.”Molly took a bite out of her ice cream uncharacteristically. “That’s a good point.” she finally said. “But you know. So it was agreed and we started to drink and have a chat as we sat on settee with the tv on in background.It had started to rain heavily outside and I stood up and told Andrea I needed to smoke. Neither her or Gareth smoked although Andrea smoked until 8 years ago when she fell pregnant with her eldest c***d.She told me to open the patio door and smoke there.I had talked to Andrea about her smoking in the past and sometimes I wish she would smoke again as I had a thing for women who smoked but I never told her that part!She had told me in the past that sometimes she still craves a cigarette but the urge soon passes and that something really bad would have to happen to make her start smoking again.I stood there smoking, looking out into the darkness with the rain falling heavily and didn't hear Andrea getting up and walking up behind me.We were standing side by side when Andrea asked me if she could have a drag of my cigarette. I asked her if she was sure and she told me she was.
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