‘Yeah. Don’t wait up!’ Em sidles up next to me as Kate dodges traffic and catches up with the other group. Bumping my hip, she asks, ‘Ready?’ I nod, reaching again for my phone to check the time. Funny how it’s still not in my back pocket. ‘Here.’ Em hands me the smartphone and rolls her eyes. ‘If I have to watch you reach for your pocket and then look stricken one more time, I’m going to hit something.’ ‘You hit enough things. Pretty sure there’s a bruise forming on my arm.’ She punches me lightly and sticks her tongue out. ‘Well that should help it along.’ ‘Heifer.’ ‘Ho.’ We trade joking insults as we make our way back to the hostel, Joanna and Zanye in front with Zora glued to her phone behind us. The night is quiet and cold, moisture from the rainfall this afternoon clinging to the air. After what seems like an eternity of walking, I check the time: 8:03PM and still no word from Leo. I give up the pretense of waiting for him to text, and write him a quick message. Rai: We good?. The truth often is.The thought of going into our bedroom and spending the night along in our bed was repugnant to me, and I honestly couldn’t bring myself to move from where he’d told me to ‘stay put’ before he left.Left was the wrong word, I knew; he’d promised me he wasn’t leaving me. But he’d been too distraught to stay in the room with me, even though he’d said he was coming back, and that was worse – because I knew he was out there somewhere, hurting and trying to learn to ignore it so we could move forward. I’d been so self-centred that I’d hurt him, badly enough that he needed time alone to try to heal, and I really had no excuse.Was it really so terrible that he’d not been wanting sex? He’d said it wasn’t a matter of desire, just ... complications. It had been a stressful time – the Architect, my brush with sleep-deprivation-induced insanity, the miscarriage, Faren, everything with Anders and Solona ... why did it come as such a surprise that he hadn’t immediately dragged me.
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