“Lost track of time.” Said Tom“Well does everyone have their quarters?” Asks Teddy.They all share a look. “Well?” asks Teddy.“I lost mine!” Said Tim and Tom at the same time.Teddy then smiles and pulls out 3 quarters.A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like Newfies.The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the Newfie pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its ass, and said, “This duck ain’t from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin’ license, boy?” The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its ass, and said, “This ain’t no Quebec duck. This duck’s from Manitoba. You got a. ..I lunged into him from the side and pushed him off of her. She collapsed on the floor, but I didn't have any time to go over to her. "Call the police!" - I shouted at her and then ducked the punch he threw at me. We brawled for a little while, until I managed to overpower him and press him to the same wall against which he had just been attempting to commit sexual assault. Soon enough, the police came, asked me and her about what had happened, thanked me, told me they'd contact me when the court hearing was scheduled, and took him away. While talking to her, they mentioned her name, which I thought was familiar. Then I finally looked at her for the first time...oh my God, it was Chloë Grace Moretz! I approached her, trying to act normal. "Are you okay?" - I asked her. She tried to say something, but collapsed forward onto me. I did well not to fall over myself, holding her up. "He was the one who gave me a lift here. I have no way of getting home. My phone died an hour ago." - she.
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