For about a minute I was mesmerized by my own blood falling into the sink, nothing else existed at that moment. I was in a trance I didn’t even feel any pain, it was like I was floating away from my body. Drip…Drip…Drip…Drip. Strangely symbolic my dance with death. I had a little to drink at the party and my adrenaline was pumping from cutting myself and the knowledge that this was my last night, it all made my head spin (a little too much). I was getting a little dizzy, I don’t know if I was going to pass out before I got the job done. Then the next thing I feel in my back, man I’m really out of it. Then I hear my name being screamed over and over in a piercing yell. ‘Leah! Leah! Leah!’ over and over, then punctuated with ‘Open this god damn door!’ Every third time my name was called. I was going to make a comical joke about moving towards the light since I was obviously hallucinating by now. The bathroom door flew open and I know I cant be hallucinating that. Lydia Glashow, the. "I made up my mind last night. I want to spend my life with you. I've already told the others." I'm thrilled... but surprised. Are you sure?" Yes, last night my best friend gave me some very good advice. When I finally took that advice the answer was obvious." What advice was that?" To think through what was important to me, what I really needed and wanted." And what do you want from me Lynn?" I want to love you and be loved by you." That you have already." I want us to go away together somewhere far away where we can make a new life together." Yes, we can do that." I want you to be strong for me. I want you to take me, even savagely and ruthlessly sometimes. I want you to rape me, to defile me, to make me beg. I want each night to be an erotic adventure. I want you to make me submit to whatever erotic pain and pleasure you can imagine and I want you to make me come again and again until I'm too exhausted to come again" I can be all those things for you Lynn." I'm sure you can, but.
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