It was pretty rare for someone to get shot and for no one to know anything about the circumstances surrounding the incident. Lots of people got shot and had no idea who had shot them, but they at least knew the situation in which it had happened. If they lived through it, anyway.It wasn't that he was particularly interested in Kristoff Farmingham's particular situation. It was just something to think about as he drove through scenery that he didn't get to see that often, which was so much easier on the eyes than the garish stuff that man created and called cities. He also thought about what it might be like to be in Mitch Connel's shoes and do police work in a place where a shooting was unusual. That had to be a pretty much stress free environment.He spent a while fantasizing about leaving the city and retiring in some little hamlet where an experienced cop could actually make a difference in the crime rate.All that fled when he got back to the precinct, though, with its noise and. At first I noticed them every time I moved.But for the past couple hours I had forgot about them.I pondered what Erin told me after the hair melt down I had. I thoughtabout why I wanted to kill myself before I met Erin and went to work forher at the bookstore. I concluded that Erin was right. The reason for myself hatred was I subconsciously knew that it was impossible for me toever be the person I was meant to be.This self hate made me unsure of myself so I became shy and reclusive.Then blend that in with the stigmas, of being a foster, my hulky size, myclumsy awkwardness, and my old victim's personality, no wonder I caughthell at high school. I could have wore a sandwich board sign that said"ABUSE ME PLEASE" and not been treated any different.Not wanting to linger on my past pain I started thinking about the new meand on that ride to the mall I discovered a lot. First of all, I neverwant to hurt someone like I was hurt. Most "average" people, have no ideawhat torture someone.
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