My. God."You're saying you know how I feel? Why I'm transitioning?"Nodding emphatically. Lower lip between his teeth.In theory I knew better than to assume you could tell a person's genderidentity just by looking at them. But in practice I did. Everybody does.But I see now that his calling me Honey, it hadn't been smugcondescension, but a clumsy, veiled affirmation of sisterhood. "I didn'tknow..." Of course you didn't KNOW! Nobody sees it. What do they see? Some damnslob. But that's just, I just do that. My whole life is that..." Hiding the truth. Believe me, I've done it too."Another big nod, "Because back when.... growing up. What I saw was, Ifigured like there were two ways to pretend it. I could either be tough,or I could be a slob. Well I knew I wasn't tough," the edges of his mouthshot up into a pained smile, "You can see how not tough I am. But this,they see a slob, they don't look twice. So I just- oh nevermind."It seemed like a weird time to clam up. "What do you mean,. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t brag. The girls did that for me. And that brought even more girls to me.”“Seriously? I can’t get a girlfriend and you had girls bring you girls to have sex with?”“It still happens,” Mattie laughed. “I was introduced to Steve by someone who had a VERY good experience and let me know I could have one, too. And it was beyond anything I could have imagined!”“Seriously?” Matt asked incredulously.“Seriously,” Mattie said with a smirk, “And, if you want to step next door into a guest room, I’ll pay it forward!”There were gasps and expressions of surprise from the students, and soft laughter from the older crowd.“You mean...” he asked, blushing bright red.“I mean exactly!” Mattie said.She got up and took his hand and led him, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, from the sauna. She was safe, because Bethany had, when she’d attended a session in December, encouraged everyone in the group to be tested, even if they weren’t sexually active.“She’s just.
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