The more I sensed my difference, the more I isolated myself. The more anger I kept inside me, the less other people tried to befriend me. I spent my days running errands or performing menial tasks and then I hid myself away in the chapel or the library. I lived my life in books and Lilith waited. She knew that a child's body would do her no good. She wanted a woman's body, so she waited. She began to exercise more control over my body and I missed even more time as soon as I began my monthlies. The other girls in the ballet corps and chorus, they sensed that something was wrong with me. They would giggle and tease me unmercifully, which only served to arouse further my anger. My anger always awoke Lilith and allowed her to take control of me. She began playing her pranks soon thereafter. I told you of the notes, those I did, but I now remember other things I did. Mean spiteful things. Well, my body did them, but Lilith controlled me. I may not have performed the acts, but I allowed. Just frustration as much as anything else and I stood there, brushing my hair from memory when the door opened.They were laughing softly, Angela and someone else, a man. He was saying something, speaking softly into Angela's ear and I could hear it plainly, although I was on the far side of the room. He wanted to fuck her bad, that's what he'd said, and I could smell the alcohol on him suddenly. He was a little drunk and he had his hands on Angela's hips and he wanted to fuck her. She giggled and stepped aside, closing the door behind them.I'd stopped breathing and I felt it, the heat rising inside me. A burning that started way down deep in my belly. I wanted that man, immediately and so completely that I couldn't think straight. I could smell him. I could feel his presence, the way he filled the room suddenly. I stared at him and I could see him almost glowing with a warm golden aura. He was alive. I could hear his heart beating so much quicker than mine, and the soft rasping.
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