’ With that she stood on her toes and kissed me, passionately, on the lips before breaking away and slipping through her door. It was just as well that she did that because I had just begun to close my arms around her and hug her to me, the embrace might not have stopped there and we might not have stopped there. What is sleep? Sleep is when your body relaxes to the point where all thought leaves you and you shut down to regain your strength. Sleep is not lying awake with your thoughts alternating between was has been and what could be. My thoughts inevitably, as they had done for so long, went back to my miserable past, but then galloped to the now, to the imagined future, what if Cassie and I could get together? What if we could build a relationship together? What if that relationship should move beyond the business, self supporting, self sustaining, into the personal? Could I cope with this? Was I prepared for this? Did I want this? I can remember at one time, it must have been. "I admit she is the one girl I feel a strong attraction to. I'm not sure if it is the challenge, or what. She is one of the few girls I have ever had to work, to get to go out with me. I think that is why I invited her to spend Christmas Break with me." How well do you know her?" Beth asked."I don't know her very well, really. I have only been with her a handful of days. I think what I like about her the most is she doesn't take any guff. She calls it like it is and you know where you stand. She is wicked smart. I also like that she is older. She just seems to know what she wants and is going for it. In a lot of ways, her being self-assured is a real turn on. There are no games with her. I take that back. She can be playful and give as well as take it, but it just seems more honest than the games high school girls play." Could it be she just has had more practice?" Beth asked.I thought about it and nodded. I was hoping spending a couple of weeks with her would help me to get to know.
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