I made it back into my house and quickly got in my room, leaving the light off, and went to bed to jack-off twice in the darkness.It was the next day when it all happened.I was coming up the street from being let off by the school bus when I walked in front of Cheryl's house and there she was sitting on the front porch steps."You, Simon, come here, I've been waiting for you," she barked at me angrily. She was in high school, a Catholic high school, and I was still in eighth grade in a public middle school. We both had uniforms on, mine was a blue teeshirt and khaki pants, hers was a white blouse and a dark navy blue skirt and black and white saddle shoes."I'm telling your mother what you did."I just stood there as she towered over me, up on her porch, as I stood on their front walk."You were looking in my bedroom, weren't you, you little pervert? I'll get you in a ton of trouble." I ... um ... I ... I didn't mean to, it was an accident," I claimed lamely knowing as soon as I'd said it. Is it wrong for me to entertain the idea of loving Jack? Is that being unfaithful to John? It’s hard to know where the lines are drawn in the relationship we have. It isn’t wrong for me to have sex with someone, and its not wrong for him to have sex with someone, but emotional attachment is wrong. Why do we have to put these limitations on ourselves? Why can’t I be attached to more than one man? Why would that be so bad? I guess it all goes back to trust. The only true thing in life is resting in the arms of your lover, knowing that the two of you have complete confidence and compassion. That’s what life is, having that one person that completes you. Samantha is good with these things. I should talk to her about it. She is helpful to me. I love her smile, the way her lip…I can’t put it into words…I just like that about her. I think I will go ask her what I should do……I laid on top of my bed, trying to pass some time, reading a book. Although I was staring at the pages, I couldn’t.
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