We will just have to work on that."Jennifer kissed me and asked what I was going to wear tomorrow. I toldher that Laurie said I could wear anything in her closet. We went intoher room and looked through her closet. We found a ?-length sleeve,white scoop neck top, a slim black pencil skirt and 2" black open toedsandals to wear. We took the clothes and shoes to my room and I triedthem on. They fit as if they were tailored for me. Jennifer said Ilooked wonderful, but I thought I looked a little to dressy to goshopping. We decided to ask Mom's opinion.Mom looked at me and said, "You look good in that outfit, but I thinkit is a little dressy to go shopping in and besides the heels will killyour feet by the end of the day". She continued, "Why don't you wearthat top and your pair of jeans and comfortable shoes or sandals."We agreed that Mom was probably right and we went back to Laurie's roomand found a pair of sandals that fit me. Jennifer brought out fourbottles of nail polish, Brick. Now I felt ashamed that I hadn't revealed myself to her."Don't you read the fashion and makeup ads in this magazine? Being seenis what women most often seek out as women. That's what we most enjoy.That's why we dress and decorate ourselves so carefully, soelaborately."She paused -- my response to that was self-evident. Then she smiled inan obvious attempt to encourage me. "Well, I don't at all mind that myhusband is curious about how my kind looks and feels, so curious that hewants to try it out himself, enjoy those same feelings. But I do mindthat he feels ashamed to share those feelings, share them with others.Especially to the woman closest to him! It's insulting! To me and towomen everywhere!" I'm not ashamed that I want to look like a woman," I tried to correcther, to pacify her with that half-truth. The fact was, I was delightedto look like one though ashamed to be seen looking like one. "When Ilook nice, I'm proud of myself! It's just ... " I had to struggle tosay.
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