If anyone was overloaded I was. I shifted arms master duties over to George.I assembled the monthly reports and filled in our accounting registers. After giving our T. O. an evaluation I figured that we needed another Ordinary Seaman aboard for cleaning and maintenance support. Irene's shift up the ladder to second mate left us unbalanced. I sent the women out to look for someone that they could work with. They knew that I'd have to approve anybody they selected so it wasn't a hog-wild selection process.I was getting antsy. They finally came back with someone. She was a slim Asian girl that was taller than I expected a native to be. Her name was Akma Raweng. She'd come from a large family in Phuket but the drug traders took advantage of their having a trading boat. She knew enough English to get by, both written and spoken. Most of her family was gone, dead. She promised to work hard and be faithful. That was all I could ask for. I told her all debts were broken and gave her a check. I will be yours to command. Please give me a chance to fight for my life with you."I was overwhelmed. I had been with this lady for a long time. All but the last few weeks had been the happiest life I could conceive of. Could I set those few weeks aside as an aberration? After the wild, wide-open sex, could we be just with each other? If not, what would the smaller circle of lovers look like. I had to seriously consider all of that. I wanted us to make it. I wanted it bad. But I didn't want to be hurt like that ever again. I took her hand in mine and that may have been a mistake. I think I was done in the minute I touched her. I looked into her eyes and said, "Peggy I could never love anyone but you. You are my woman. I want to be back together with you so bad it hurts. I want to act like that night didn't happen. But what you did tore my gut out of me. I never want to endure that again." Oh John, darling, you won't ever have to, I swear by everything I hold dear." And what kind of.
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