Don't be a naughty boy!" And then she laughed and told me to go outside. "You need to knock on the door and pick me up silly." So I went out and knocked and said "good evening, may I escort you to dinner?" She liked me getting in the spirit as we walked out to the car. She was holding my arm and said "walk slow for your date, sweetheart. Stop trying to look down my blouse. A woman appreciates subtlety." I was going to say I wasn't trying to look but I was. She gave me pointers though. "Stephen, instead, let your arm drift to my waist. There, hold me lightly and don't go too low to be obscene. Are you ready for a secret?"I stopped walking not sure what she meant. She said "Move your fingers a little and tell me what you feel." Uh, nothing really, just a skirt I think." Silly Stevie. No, dear, feel there? That's the top of my panties. Feel the strap along here?" She moved my hand. "That's a garter. They're not comfortable or practical so if your date is wearing them she probably went. I'm not a poor kid, at least as far as money is concerned. Dad's got plenty. He's a very successful man, both as an attorney and as a keeper of arm candy. He's just not doing a very good job of being a dad. There's more to parenting than providing a house and meals.And a car. And any kind of music tutor I thought I needed. When Mom died, I was a budding violinist. The night they buried her, I locked the door to my room and I played my violin, every sad song I could work up, and that night I determined that I was not doing credit to her memory with that level of skill. Love, yes. But something clicked and I decided that those evenings that Mom sat there as my beginner's screeches slowly turned into identifiable music, those evenings that she sat through my recitals, I didn't have much to give back to Mom, but music was in my power.Another power I had was not to fall into the trap she fell into, the trap that produced me. I don't know how it all works, but I know that I'm not going to.
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