Eventually I decided if I wanted him, and I did want him so badly, then I would have to resort to drastic measures, give him no choice at all. I waited until one Sunday morning when Mum was going out early to take her mother somewhere. Dad was still in bed asleep. Once the front door had shut I listened for the car to start, and she was gone. Just me and Dad left in the house. If ever I was going to act it had to be now. I stripped off my nightclothes, and went into the bathroom. Toilet, teeth, then a quick shower. As I was soaping myself I could feel my heart pounding with nervous excitement. My nipples were already hard with sexual anticipation and the tingling between my legs,…..it was all I could do to resist touching myself there. Even drying myself fueled the temptation to give myself a quick climax but somehow I was able to deny myself that pleasure. Quietly I sneaked along the hall, still naked from the shower, slowly and carefully I opened the door to his bedroom and crept. So I was kind of right, he was a spy, and quite possibly an assassin.I was advised that as his only living relative I was entitled to a one-off payment as compensation for his death, and I got his pension, not a fortune, but enough to pay my way through school and college.I was given the details of a solicitor in London who would advise me if I needed any help with stuff. Joan made me call him straight away and via a speakerphone call we established that the letter from my dad authorising Joan to care for me could be used as a basis for adoption proceedings, especially as I had no relatives and the only other option was local authority care.Joan started proceedings to adopt me, which would take a few months, and in the meantime we had a funeral to arrange once the army had flown my dad back.I was quite low for a while, but I really didn't know how I felt. Somewhere deep inside I know I mourned my dad, but not much. I wasn't gripped by grief, I just felt that something that was.
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