“We got the same talk. We agreed to compare notes before we committed,” Wolf said.“Bullshit! You’re a terrible actor,” Cassidy announced as she pointed at me.“Hey, how do you know?” I asked.“You have so many tells it isn’t even funny,” Cassidy said. “I can easily see if you’re telling the truth or not.”“But I didn’t lie. I never said I committed,” I defended myself.“You’ve never been able to lie,” Mom assured me.“So, you didn’t accept?” Tim asked.“No. I was just busting your chops.”I could see Brook, Tim, and Wolf relax.“I really want to come here,” Tim admitted.“Even though they don’t have an architecture program?” I asked.“Even though.”“Wow. I take it you were impressed.”“Weren’t you?” Wolf asked.“Oh, yes. We would be wearing championship rings for sure. It would be all about football, though,” I said.“I know what you mean. Jim said he constantly works out or is doing something football-related. He told us that when you add in school, he has almost no time for a social life,” Tim. . Rebeca and Desiree.”“That’s wonderful. And inspiring, I’ll bet,” she said, lifting the pages from the red folder. “We don’t have much time, so I’ll go over this quickly. There are not many notes on the paper itself as I’d rather not have my handwriting on your romances. You might want to take a few notes.”“Yes ma’am.” I had a pen and paper ready.“First, character development is improving. I’m beginning to see depth in the narrator’s character, especially the part where he is nearly consumed by self-doubt. Setting up that depth of character with the narrator, though, also increases the contrast with less fully developed characters. In a first-person narrative, you need to give the reader some insight into the development of the relationships that goes deeper than what you have. What does the narrator—Daniel—see in Jasmine that indicates her interest? Even if it wouldn’t be something that he makes a conscious note of, it would be on the periphery of his awareness. The way she touches.
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