So, in a way, I guess you could say that Mara and I, as a white married couple, are seeking some sort of 'atonement', some sort of 'penance', for what our white ancestors have done, and in many cases, still doing to blacks, and to people of color in general. Some will scoff at this, but for us, it's imperative that we, as an individual white couple, do something very significant, and lasting---and for my wife to conceive ONLY African-fathered c***dren is, for us, that significant thing!There is another aspect of our relationship that I'm sure puzzles many people, and that is, even though Mara and I are husband and wife, I do not engage in sex with her; or, at least not in the form of sexual intercourse. We are physical engaged in other ways, and we are physically affectionate---we just don't have 'fuck'; that is, we do not have intercourse. That is reserved only for select African men!So, what do I do for sexual release? Simple, really. I masturbate, and I enjoy watching porn (mainly. .. Sometimes I guess. It was hard to tell what was just wishful thinking.“Maybe they’re just looking at my tits.” I thought; they’re pretty big. I put the tube of lipstick down on the dressing table and put a hand under each of my tits and lifted them slightly under my shirt, pushing them together. I let them go and watched them fall back into place. They jiggled a little. Not too saggy. I turned around and stuck my ass out at the mirror. I ran my hands over each check. It was still pretty firm; heart shaped. I thought it was a nice ass. My jeans fit it good. Made it look good too I thought.I stared at myself for the longest time. I took the tube of lipstick off the table and took the cover off. I brought it up to my lips as I rolled it out. I started to put it on. I rubbed my lips together and then ran my tongue over them; remembering, sadly, what it felt like to be desired.It had been a long time since I’d put this color on my lips. I sat down at my dressing table, stared at myself.
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