One warm evening when the humidity was warm in the air, Isabella and Markus sat on the sand, gazing out across the sea. With the moonlight shining down from the night's sky, the reflection shone on the calm surface of the ocean. "Why are you sometimes like that?" Markus wondered out loud."Like what?" Isabella asked."Cold and then lovable and kind and sweet like you've been the last few weeks with me," he replied. He turned his head to his right to look at her."I hadn't always been that way," she said sadly. "I had been in a bad relationship with someone and so I find it hard to trust anyone." Isabella turned to look at him and her heart fluttered. "I'm sorry to hear that, babe, really. I understand why you were cold at first now. You can trust me, I promise I won't hurt you." Markus caressed her left cheek with his right hand and stared deeply into her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips.Isabella grinned at him then pushed him back on the sand and straddled. At least it shouldn't. I think he'll give yousomething else to put you to sleep.The doctor covered my face with a mask after he finished giving me theepidural. I remember thinking that it smelled sweet, as my mother's faceand her voice drifted over me in the far distance.I thought I'd go to sleep and just pass out, but it wasn't like that. Iguess you'd call it dreaming but it felt more real than that.It's not like I've ever had a near death experience, but that was what itwas like. It felt like I was dying and my life was passing before myeyes. And it wasn't just me who was seeing and feeling it. Everyone Iever knew was there and they knew everything I was thinking and they wereseeing me for what I was. I felt exposed, ashamed, and remorseful.I saw myself as a boy, living large on the football field and fuckinggirls in the back seat of my car. It was more than imagination. It wastotal recall. I'd been a boy and I'd been good at it and I had enjoyedit. So why was I doing.
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