I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 =. He squeezed my breasts. His fingers dug into my tits. His strong grip held me tight. It was such a wonderful thing to enjoy. Just the best thing in the world.I gasped as he pinched my nipples. He squeezed my nubs. He twisted them, my bowels clenching down around his cock. I whimpered, my back arching as he drove his cock deep and hard into me. It was an amazing delight to have him plundering me. He fucked me hard and fast. He pounded me.“Mom!” he groaned. “Damn, your ass is tight.”“First time?” she asked. “Mmm, those girls don’t know what they’re missing out on. Anal is amazing. Yes, yes, fuck Mommy’s asshole!”He pounded me hard and fast. He rammed his cock into my sphincter. He buried deep into my flesh. He filled me. It was an incredible delight. An absolute treat for me to enjoy. I groaned, my heart pounding in my chest.His crotch smacked into me. I gasped, my arms flexing and bending, absorbing the impacts of his balls. The pleasure surged through me. It was a wonderful treat.
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