Shipmates were starting to do strange things that they wouldn't do under normal circumstances. The Captain became quite upset when he noticed one of my shipmates sun bathing stark naked outside his State Room.People were tired and they started making mistakes. I wrote constant comedy scripts and long love letters to my favorite sweetheart to keep my mind occupied. Just as I was finishing page 68 of a love letter, I was the only one to notice that a shipmate had fallen overboard. Everyone else had fallen sound asleep.As my shpmate was falling overboard I was just ending my love letter with the words I've always ended it with, everything you do seduces me.At the time, I got quite a kick out of writing long love letters. I had realized that the post office in that country had been making copies of everything I wrote and passing it all around the country.I was subtle of course, but I was making comical statements and little hints about how much better that counrty would be without its. I wasn’t a junkie or an alcoholic. I could stop if I wanted to. I just didn’t want to. That was how I thought. But once I was dry, I could see that every problem in my life went back to it. I had hit rock bottom. So I called the AA hotline from the phone in the lobby of the jail. They were nice enough to come get me. I went to my first real meeting and a nice lady there that night took pity and let me stay in a spare room she had until I got back on my feet. I went to meetings every night. I got a sponsor, and he helped me get into an inpatient program. Unlike before, this time I took it seriously, I had to fix myself. I had, uh, messed up and lost you and I couldn’t go on like that. So this time I worked the steps and worked them hard. My sponsor saw how serious I was. Then he helped me find a job and a school that I could get a two year RN degree from. He helped me study. He took care of me emotionally when I thought it was all too much. He gave me the occasional butt kicking about.
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