This is Rachel Green, his ex-girlfriend who is also his fiancee. Long story on that. This is another ex-girlfriend, Julie. This is Phoebe Buffay and her twin sister, Ursula. Phoebe is a masseuse and Ursula is a waitress and a porn star.“This is Chandler Bing, a statistical analyst. And this is Joey Tribbiani, an actor,” I rattled out several more introductions before Eric rolled his eyes.“A lot of folks, many of them with no real ... combat training, I should think. What good would that do? It’s just ... weird. Are any of them going to be any good in a fight? Or just get in the way?” Pam spoke her mind now.“Try me. Now, come on, guys! We wasted Maryann Forrester already. No reason that we can’t wreck some others. Particularly some crazy, closet case pastor and his shrew of a wife. Pretty shrew, but shrew nonetheless. Now, watch this!” I brought out the flamethrower that was a recent gift.“Plus, he has us,” Clio observed.“Exactly!” Calliope assured them.“I’ll take my chances with. -o0o-It was AGES ago, when I was just starting seve*** grade at Collinsville Mid*** School (Go Tigers!), and I had just turned thirt***. We had moved to Collinsville from the boondocks, and I was getting to know my new school. It seemed like everyone was so grown-up! Like the boys were going crazy about the girls, and talking out loud in the hallways about who's boobs were growing, or how great so-and-so's ass was, and things like that. I was really scared that there might be something wrong with my butt. What if boys never said those things about me? I'd never have a boyfriend, never get married, and never be a mommy!Like I said, I was just a k** then, thirt*** years old. I'm more sophisticated now. I know that even without Dad helping me get into shape, some guys would like me. But as it is, all the boys like me, and I like that tons more.Anyway, I was starting to get real worried about it. I asked my Mom if there was any way to make my rear end grow up sexy, but she just got mad.
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