For an hour I didn’t think of Eric. My thoughts were solely of Robert. I felt guilty. He didn’t ask for it to be this way. He’d done nothing. He’d been driving home like he did every night, except that night it was different. It was foggy and he didn’t see the truck. It backed out into his lane of traffic and within seconds it was over. They said he didn’t feel a thing. I wanted to blame someone, but there was no one, it was purely an accident. Which is why I was sitting here blaming myself, feeling guilty for feeling alive. I listened as the others spoke of their experiences, their feelings of loss, grief, and guilt. I made my way down Market Street with Rachel, another woman I’d met from the group. We were consumed in conversation, when I noticed a taller guy crossing the street to the left of me, and I thought for sure it was Eric. I paused in mid sentence and turned as we walked past. It was him, with the same bubbly blonde that was at his house weeks earlier. I felt a sharp. “I’m talking about taking him into your throat and when you gag, it doesn’t really feel too good.” “Who says I’ll gag. It’s not like he revolting or smells or anything.”“Sweetie, it’s not that. When something hits the back of your tongue, it’s normal to gag. We all do.”Fran and Beth went on about the gag reflex and talked about practicing at home on a dildo. “Hey,” I interrupted, “why not practice on the real thing? I’m just laying here naked between the two of you if you hadn’t noticed.”“Because,” Fran said, “when she does it to you, I want it to be slow and gentle. I want her to make love to your cock. I want her to have as much fun as you’ll be having and not getting ready to blow chunks of her breakfast in your lap.”“No harm in trying though, mom,” Beth said releasing my hand and placing hers on my flaccid manhood.To my surprise and horror, nothing happened when she touched me. Hopefully, I just needed some more time. Fran saved me from a temporary impotent.
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