Plus, it took the pressure completely off of me as I savored every inch of him. After this I loved giving head (condiments optional), so he must have done something right! I guess my future lovers owe Drew a big thanks. As Drew and I became closer, Chris began to fade into the background. He stayed out more and partied more. I just saw less and less of him. I now wonder if it was because of his feelings for me and his possible anger at Drew for getting into a relationship with me. I remember one time when Chris was leaving for work, he warned us...No, commanded us to not! have! sex! on! his! bed! His bed was technically the couch. And, of course, we enthusiastically had sex on his “bed” anyway. He knew it the minute he stepped back into the apartment and he was not pleased with us! But we thought it was funny as hell. Poor Chris! All good things come to an end - a cliche, but no less true. Eventually, Chris and I both left the movie theater and we lost touch. I went through a. ..well,...I want,...I want to be a womancompletely. I mean Danny is always here, but it's Sandi's turn now. Iwant to be Sandi all the time now. I don't want to go back. I don't thinkI could go back. But I have only the vaguest idea of what I should do.Tell me, Mary, really, all this doesn't seem too weird for words, doesit? I mean you're not running out of here, shouting, 'my brother belongsin the loony bin', are you?"Now it was Mary's turn to come over to me. She drew me up so that wecould hug each other. We stood there, I don't know how long, and she gaveback to me in that hug a lifetime's worth of love and affirmation. It'snot as if she had ever withheld it. And especially in this conversationshe had been so supportive. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn'tthe total jumble that my feelings were in just then. Maybe I thought thatonce I said that I wanted to be Sandi all the time that the clouds wouldpart and a ray of sunshine would shine on me and I could go riding offinto the.
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