. but I felt I needed to feel this pain... for a while at least. To make sure I remembered just what I had thrown away.It was a dangerous game I was playing with myself then. One that could end up with me dead and gone. I walked that line, the edges of it drawing me in and out many times a day. I thought deep down that if I lost John forever, I would rather be out of my misery than have to face myself each day.When John called me that night, having gotten back from his vacation, I was surprised. That night too, I'd been depressed. I thought that he was about to cut me loose. I thought I had finally lost my John forever. He was going to take me out in a public place, then dump me.I slept roughly the night before, nightmare after nightmare keeping me in a state of half sleep. I must have looked like hell that next day at work. I was thankful it was a Friday, so I wouldn't have to answer any questions about my appearance till Monday. If I was still alive then and if I still felt like. After I am fully dressed, she said that she was going to tie me up again and rap me. She also said that if I cry and that I will, she was going to slap and spank me until I stop. She said that she was going to use her strapon on me and make me suck her dick, then she said that she was going to start fucking me with the strapon and after a while move onto her bigger dildo, then she was going to really stretch my ass by fisting me. Sometime during this, she said that she was going to ride my dick until I give her a creampie, and after I gave her the creampie, she said that she was going to make me clean her pussy with my mouth until she squirted in my mouth. She also said that she was going to keep making me cum until I cant cum anymore. She said that when I leave, she wants me to wear on the way home the garter I had to wear and her dirty thong that she got dripping wet with her cum. Also, when I come back, she said that she wants to see if I am wearing stockings, the.
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