He is clearly from Africa, if to tell by his accent and his skin color. We introduced ourselves. His name is Len, and he just moved in. Oddly, when I told him my name he frowned in disappointment. "Ha? Oh, yeah… You just really reminded me of someone." He answers when I ask him if everything's alright. I try to locate my keys in my bag, and half mindedly ask "Who?" "Don't take it the wrong way, but… you really, really look like Dane, a gay porn star who I'm a huge fan of." I smile. It's nice to know people recognize me by my screen name, and that I have fans. Suddenly, a wild idea pops into my head. "Maybe that 'Dane' is just a screen name. Perhaps his real name is Greg. Who knows?" I shrug. "Would there be a way to see if I am really that Dane?" Len's eyes light up. "Yes, but I'd have to see you naked for that..." "That can be arranged," I say as I spin my key and open the door. "Is now a good time?" Len nods quickly and follows me inside, where I already decided a night he'll never. The next morning, fully expecting to be undisturbed, I’m sitting at my computer posting a bunch of junk on my Facebook page when right on schedule, she sticks her head in the door, takes one look around and says, “Unacceptable, Bobby. Get it straightened up before you leave the house.”Not what I expected! I was upset that I’d failed, and in my frustration I said something really stupid. I looked at her and asked, “Are you serious?”She gave me one of her special looks and said, “Absolutely serious! Are you thinking about testing my resolve on this issue?”Her words and the set of her jaw quickly brought me back to reality. “Um, no. I’ll get it done before I leave.”“Good boy.”So my efforts hadn’t made a dent in her neat-freakiness as far as I could see. Maybe I’d pushed the wrong buttons or something, but I was pretty sure I hadn’t. Or maybe she was just immune to whatever electrical signals I was sending her way through the remote.Then I had a disturbing thought: Maybe it hadn’t.
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