"Kirsty was looking at me, a deep, thoughtful frown disfiguring her beauty. Whether I'd done enough to calm her suspicions I couldn't say but I needed to go to the toilet and now seemed like the best time to do it. Yes I was retiring; I needed to regroup before I was forced to retreat in disarray."I'll be back in a minute," I said and headed for the rest rooms.I took my time; I needed to calm down so after washing my hands I took the time to wash my face as well. Was it always this way, you go out with a girl and she immediately wants to take over your life?I didn't know, I didn't have the experience but some instinct told me that if I rolled over now, did as she wanted, I'd suffer for it in the log run. I had no intention of being unfaithful, of seeing other girls whilst she was mine but I wasn't going to stop talking to them just because she said so.Sighing audibly I remembered that before Kirsty and Natasha I didn't really speak to other girls. I headed back to the table, hoping. I studied your psych profile when youwere accepted for the Mission and came across something ratherinteresting which, along with your other qualities, insured your positionhere with me. You have a rather pronounced female component in yourpersonality index. You are aware of that aren't you?" Of course I'm aware of it. I've had fantasies of being a woman all mylife, and during most of my life I've cross-dressed in the privacy of myhome, and even gone out dressed as a woman. But my cross-dressing wasultimately unsatisfying because I'm big, have masculine features andhands, and a deep voice. I was never convincing enough to satisfymyself. I would have mentioned this at a counseling session but itdidn't seem important at the time and it never came up. I'm not ashamedof who I am." Daniel, there is very little about you that I don't know. Our psychprofiles go very deep. I know that you are a highly motivated, wellintegrated human being. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. I.
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