More people weresmiling at me, and I was smiling back at them?a lot more than I had as aman. Of course, I realized the flip side to this; if a woman was morewelcome mid-day in a crowded mall, she was also a lot more vulnerable on asemi-deserted street in a mostly-empty parking garage.I spent most of the rest of that weekend in my apartment, practicingapplying and removing makeup, and reading every diary, letter, or personalscrap of information about Cheryl I could lay my hands on. I felt more thana little like a snooper, but Dan had assured me it was the right thing todo. If I was going to live Cheryl?s life, for a short time or forever, Ineeded to know as much about it as I could.I found myself guzzling Diet Pepsi (it was Cheryl?s favorite soft drink;I had always preferred Coke) and absent-mindedly lighting one cigaretteafter another as I shifted through the piles of paper. I becameincreasingly frustrated by the enormity of the task. Parents, friends,classmates, old. I had actually spotted theleotards she was after recently, or possibly similar ones, and had arough idea where in the store they were, however now that I could browsemuch more freely, I wasn't in a hurry to end it.I wish she hadn't been so specific about the choices she was after. Ifshe had simply wanted a certain colour, I could have chosen something Iwould have liked as well. I very much doubted that I would enjoy wearingones as girlish as those, but I felt that there was absolutely no waythat I could provide her with suggestions without exposing my actualintentions for helping her.She eventually found them both before I did. As they both got changedinto the leotard that they wanted to wear today, I rapidly became awareof how quickly this opportunity was sliding through my fingers, almostabout to end, causing me to almost shake with anxiety.I had to stop delaying this. With a deep breath, I marched over to mygrandma to ask about the leotards for me as well. However, as I was.
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