The heart is in good shape but thesupporting cast is clogged, 90% and over in a couple instances. Oh, and Iam also a "closet crossdresser." My wife doesn't know and I only rarelydress and when I do I have never been out in public. A few years ago Ipoorly attempted to talk to my wife about my childhood and my introductionto my mom's clothes but she didn't take it well and made it clear shedidn't want to hear about it and walked away saying the subject will neverbe brought up again. I love my wife and children dearly and for theirsakes I never approached the subject again. A couple times over the yearsI almost got caught but was able to escape just in the "nick of time."Back to the present, I have been praying diligently and have accepted thepossibility that I might not survive the surgery and I feel at peace withthis.I am not sure if it happened while in surgery or before but I had a visionand an beautiful angelic being stood before my bed and stated, " Peace anddo not be afraid. The. The void was still for a moment more.#Let's move on...#*What?* The voice almost sounded cowed for a moment.#You're still pathetic. Why are you even in that dead-end job, anyway?You should be using what your parents spent so much to put you throughuniversity to learn. After 6 years, you should have done better thanthat...#*...*#SIX YEARS! I mean, how stupid are you?#I could hear echoes of my father's voice there and I could feel thedisappointment he must feel in me. He'd never said it, but he must havefelt it...~You were very good to come back and get what you did after whathappened...~ The other voice again, like silk, quietly speaking into myear this time. I felt a presence with me, warm and close andunderstanding and I could swear the void just smiled at me somehow.*I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I'm not going to answerphones for the rest of my life, just long enough to get the money Ineed to get the training I need.* The warmth of the other presencestrengthened my.
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