I would hope that you could see that it was a lot more than just sex.”“Yeah it was. I have never experienced that either. Too much input! I need time to think.”“Well before you run off, screaming into the night, let me give you something else to think about.”“Oh shit! I’m gonna die!”Erin laughed and directed me to the couch in the living room. She slowly removed her shoes and set them by the front door. She then began to pull her bar polo shirt out of her pants and then pulled it over her head. The top of her breasts had a slight redness to them. She unsnapped and unzipped her pants and wiggled them off. Her white bra and powder blue panties told me that she was not planning to go home with me. I was always told that a woman that was expecting sex always wore a set of matching underwear.She then knelt before me and took off my shoes and placed them next to hers at the front door. She tried to pull my polo shirt out of my pants but couldn’t since I was sitting. I stood and that. But he doesn’t look at me when I get in. Explosions in the Sky starts when the car does. He pulls out and drives. When he drops me off at my place he stops the car and waits for me to get out. I try to hesitate. ‘Can we at least talk about…?’ I try because it’s Ben and he’s the most important thing in the world to me, no matter how stubborn he can be. ‘I have that client in four hours…’ he trails off and examines his nails. ‘Fine, Ben. Call me if you decide to stop being an ass, but not before then, ‘kay?’ I slam the door and it squeals. He drives away quickly. I sit for quite awhile in the porch swing we shared for so many summers and angry, frustrated tears burn my eyes. It’s an ugly feeling and I can’t help hating Ben for making it happen. He doesn’t call for five days and I can’t remember how long it’s been since we hadn’t spoken to each other at least every other day. I stare at the phone and hate it, hate him, hate myself. I do angry housework which pleases my mother to no.
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