I thought I was an independent woman but I need you so much I guess I can’t be.’ I found my eyes were pricking with tears at all the emotions flying around, but her admission she was also scared and insecure about this helped me not shed any. Not that I would have minded crying in front of her, but I didn’t need to when this whole conversation proved we were in the same place and it was a good one. ‘In a strange way, I’m glad I scare you too,’ I giggled, trying to break the tension. ‘So, now we’ve established we both want this, and we’re both scared, are you going to relax?’ she asked, clearly teasing me. ‘Now I know you’re not breaking up with me, I think there’s a good chance of that. Can I sleep with you curled up in my arms now? I’ve missed it.’ I saw the disappointment on her face, and I kind of knew where she was coming from, but I needed to do our date tomorrow before we had sex and I was sure after this conversation and our first date that was going to happen. ‘Not tonight,. If I was seen traipsing around with another man people might start to wonder if Charles was spending time with another woman. Some enterprising journalist might put the pieces together and discover the golden boy senator was just like so many others before him and Charles would have to start making apology press conferences. I sat down on the cold concrete, letting my legs dangle over the edge of the loading dock. Around the side of the building I could hear journalists talking on their phones, photographers adjusting their cameras. Not one of them seemed to notice me, or if they did they didn’t care. As far as they were concerned I was yesterday’s news and not worth an inch of newsprint. It was exactly how I felt about myself at that moment. Inside the party raged on as the polls closed and the votes were counted. The sound rose to a crescendo as I assumed the final decision was announced. It died down to silence, broken only by the sound of one muffled voice. Charles, as everyone.
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