’Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’‘Thank you, ‘ the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective... ‘With a golf gun, ‘ the other detective replied.‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah, until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.‘I’m O. K. But I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery, ‘ he answered.‘What did he say, ‘ asked the nurse.‘Oops!’While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had. The day began seemingly interesting; I got up, took a cold shower and got a text message from him, saying that he'd see me later. 20:30, it's dark and he still hasn't called me or anything.About ready to go to bed, when I hear a knock at the door. I get up form my couch and go to the door, only to find that no one's there.I shake my head, assuming that I'm either hearing things, being too hopeful, or both. I sit back down on my couch, put my book down, and turn on the television.Ten minutes later, I'm hearing sounds coming from my bedroom. I stand up, and go to my room. I turn the light on, only to see nothing. I shake my head, mumble 'paranoia' and turn to walk out.As I'm walking out, my lights turn out and somebody grabs my hand. They pull me back into my room and slam the door. They push me up against the back of the door and kiss me, fully, running their fingers through my mess of curls. By now, I know it's a man, but I'm truly too shocked to react.He begins to run his hands up.
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