You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From dorsetmikeShe says “Why don’t you say you love me anymore?”He replies “I said it once, I’ll let you know if the situation changes.”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmacSo I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you what I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour looking for instant coffee.How can you spot people who can’t count to twenty? They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.I bought some Haagen-Dazs. "I really didn't know what to expect. It could be from dropping to her knees and pleading my forgiveness, but after the surprise, I expect all hell will break loose. One thing I knew for sure, she will cry a lot knowing how much I despise her after how she lied and cheated on me. She will definitely know I no longer have any love or compassion for her. The contempt I had for her would last for a long time. I would be a long time before I would trust another woman. Now when I looked at a woman, all I could see was a lying and cheating bitch.I left work Thursday night and went to Adam's house to set up my video equipment. I had left a voice mail on Alice's cell phone. I told her to go to her 'ladies book club' as I would be about an hour or more late getting home. I just finished setting up my video equipment when we saw Alice, totally naked dance into that glass enclosed family room. There were the two naked black men not far behind. She got on the padded table and spread her legs..
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