..the harsh electric bell ringing; everyone tromping back in from theirkickball game.....blood everywhere. Screams! Pandemonium! Sirens! Random unexplainedexplosions! And me smiling through the searing pain..."Oh my God! Jackie, what did you DO?!!"Not a very nice thing to do to Miss Kellerman after she'd put suchfaith in me, but she wasn't the one who was facing transformation intosome oversized lumbering ape.And being right in the middle of town, our school was just blocks fromGreat Northern Medical Clinic, where I knew I would need to be taken,a.s.a.p..."Where's the boy's genitals? We'll try to reattach them."?"He wouldn't tell us."?"What do you MEAN he wouldn't-"Then later, after I had been gurneyed off, the schoolroom floor hadbeen mopped and things were calming down, Paul Zeltner opening hislunchbox to find...This wasn't the first time this sort of gristly scenario had runthrough my head. What the hell was wrong with me???As prominent and as constant as all this stuff was in my. 18 years old. I can feel him pressed against me/ smell his hair/ taste the kiss/ feel his fingers fumbling awkwardly between my legs. All the excitement and confusion has been sealed away in that one song. Like a Time Capsule. Ive been thinking about Byron a lot recently. The first man I ever fucked. Probably the only man I ever really loved. Dont know if Ill ever get over him to be honest. Occasionally if I smell or see or hear something that reminds me of him the pain explodes through me/ burning into every cell in my AH SHIT. Im even crying now. Big splashes of salty water dripping onto my hand as I type. Hang on a second. ~~~~~ Last Saturday I took a stroll down to Cockburn Street. I didnt have any money or anything but I needed to get out the flat. It was doing my head in. So I was just wandering about – having a wee window-shop to myself (fantasising about what Id buy if I had the cash) – and I was heading down past this place where they sell loads of leather gear and.
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