So many different kinds; so many different emotions. I love my mother; I love my decaf mochas; I love my teddy bear from when I was three; I love the Big Bang Theory; I love to read; I love teaching; I love wearing stockings; I love sex. Yet had I ever felt true love? I don’t know. I definitely thought I was in love on a few occasions, but that faded away over time.I love you. Three simple words. I have said them before; I have had them said to me; were they meant sincerely? I like to think so. Were they actually true deep down in their heart? Maybe.This is a love story. This is my love story. Is it a traditional love story? No. It is a complex, layered and sexually filled story. Will you think it is a true love story? That is up to you, as each defines love as they see it. So don’t judge my view of love. It is messy, complicated, addictive and, yet I think, pure.It wasn’t until I was 26 and my best friend for many years announced she was engaged and getting married that I realized I. But now it was for a different reason. Would I be good enough? How could he want to be with me when he could be with so many other more beautiful women? I've got to get that thought out of my mind. He told me. It's a chemical reaction caused by our body chemistries. Yeah, right. I was attracted to him because he was beautiful, smart, funny, thoughtful, and the owner of an industrial strength penis (at least it looked that way). But what did he see in me? I was a nervous wreck.After work I rushed to my hotel. I took an inordinate amount of time preparing for the evening. I did everything I could to make this tired 35 year old body attractive to that lovely 25 year old boy. I've never needed someone to want me before. I'm an independent business person who can look out for herself. But God, I needed him to want me. Andrew met me in the lobby of my hotel, looking dashing. I told myself to remain calm, to go out and enjoy the dinner, when I really wanted to grab him and drag him up to my.
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