We exchanged small talk for a while, telling each other what bases we had lived on, our home towns, and what each of our spouses did. Ellen put her beer down and said, ‘Listen Rick, this is kind of embarrassing, but I wanted to apologize for something.’ I was a bit confused but said ‘ok’. She laughed a little and looked down at her feet. ‘Usually, when I work out I wear spandex under my shorts. Well I didn’t have any clean this morning, because I’m lazy sometimes, and I didn’t realize until I was done doing my crunches that I was flashing you my panties the whole time. So, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’ I actually hadn’t felt uncomfortable, in fact it turned me on but I couldn’t tell her that. I wanted to make her not feel so bad about it so I laughed a little and said, ‘Oh it’s no big deal, trust me it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, and I figured you hadn’t realized it. I actually moved a little so that the oncoming joggers couldn’t see anything.’ The last part was a bit. ” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed my name and actually became fairly successful.I regret not taking your advice when offered. Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says,.
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