Too small to defend myself. People telling me I needed to learn martial arts, but it didn’t do a damned bit of good. All it did was making the beating I received worse.”Alan said, “I saw that happen too many times.”Peter said, “Taking control of my life started with something I overheard someone say. Knowledge is power. I know you’ve heard that. It’s almost a cliché among those like us.”“Yeah.”“It was one sentence, but it got me to wondering exactly what it meant. Remember that I was about eight or nine at that time. How could knowing something make you powerful? Could knowledge make you powerful enough to defeat your enemies who were bigger and stronger than you were?“The second piece of the puzzle came when I went out from my room one night to tell my parents good night. They were watching a movie on television and I decided to wait to bid good night to them until the commercial came on. I think I watched about five minutes of it, but it was the right five minutes. I only remember. When I showed him my purchases he said sharply: 'You should have asked me. I'm going to give the school disco night a miss. I hate the whole idea of it. You go if you want. I'll stay in, there are plenty of things that need doing. Adults fantasizing about being kids again strikes me as immature, not to say bizarre. And it feeds the stereotype of gay men being obsessed with superficialities like dressing up.'Perplexed by this, I said 'No it doesn't. Most school disco nights are hetero, organized by straight pubs and clubs. Just come for half an hour to be friendly. You've known Smiles longer than I have, you ought to give him a bit of support. Jake's doing his bit; he showed me a couple of certificates he's planning to give out. Don't dress up if you don't want to. We don't need to make a big thing of it, but they'll be expecting us.''I said no.''Why not? What's wrong?''I don't want to.''You could put up with going there for half an hour.''No.''All right, obviously I misunderstood..
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