“You mean ... you want to...” He was totally flustered. It was adorable.Trying to act like this wasn’t my plan all along, I tried to act non-nonchalant, “Yeah, sure, I’ll be your first.” I said, looking around for where we were. “Turn right up here, there’s a housing development being built. There shouldn’t be anybody around at this time.”I directed Joe around the development until we came to a house being constructed without any occupied ones around.After he stopped the car I smiled at him, gave him a peck on the cheek, opened my door and then got into the back seat, where I laid down. After a second he joined me.Joe was nervous, it was apparent, it was all happening so fast for him. I leaned up and touched his hand. “It’s ok ... just enjoy it. Here... “ I lifted the front of my skirt, exposing my yellow panties. “ ... pull down my underwear.”Joe reached up and I lifted my ass to help him as he tugged my panties down, exposing my shaved snatch.He knew what to do, he just couldn’t. Even in high school we looked like maybe, at least partially, we could havebeen brothers. I was 5'8 and he just an inch taller. He was slim, withheavy muscle definition despite just turning fifteen; compact muscles withraven-black hair and pale blue eyes. I was also pale, freckles included,with ocean-blue eyes. Unlike him, though, I had auburn hair and a thickerframe. I didn't really have any muscle definition but my body was firmenough and I certainly didn't qualify as fat or overweight.Until I learned what gay was – and what I was – I was obsessed withour physical characteristics. I understood that k**s were cruel, how couldI not, but I always assumed they picked on those that were just different –fat, ugly, four-eyed, whatever. I thought I was normal, if not a littleshy, so until my older brother – two years my senior – finally tookthe time to explain to me what `gay' was, I just never could understand whyhe hated me so much.By 8th grade I knew that Eddie was right. I had.
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