After the sermon a UU asked the visitor, “So how did you like it?”“I can’t believe half the things that minister said!” sputtered the visitor in outrage.“Oh, good -- then you’ll fit right in!”For Jews, the deity is YHWH. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians:. It was four of the cutest seniors and me…night after night in Ritchie’s basement. At first, we really did play cards. Then one night, Barry ran out of money early and I was nearly busted as well. Alan and Ritchie said we should take a break and all of a sudden, one of them gave me a joint. God, Daddy, I finally realized why you smoke this stuff. I felt great! “When we finished, Alan…he was the one I really had a crush on…he looked straight at me as he said the only way for Barry to stay in the game was to give everyone the option of betting cash or clothes.” As I continued to massage her plump, pink cunt lips with my tongue, I could taste more and more of her excitement as she recalled that night. Lisa was squirming around the bed as she continued her tale. “I knew,” she continued, her voice getting deeper with her remembered lust, “exactly what they wanted, Daddy. It was just like what I’ve read in your Penthouse Letters.” My little girl’s voice dropped.
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