They are villains and thieves of women’s hearts.They steal in the middle of the night and deceive by day.I am the Chief Protector of Her Majesty.I will counsel Her with intelligence; I will honor Her with patience.I will satisfy Her with affection, and defend Her with my life.I will cherish Her with fortitude. I will pass Her tests with endurance.I will treasure Her with undying praise and worship.Yea though I may become faint in the combat of the Internet coliseum.I will not renounce, withdraw, or disavow.For Her visions and faith uplift me, And Her loveliness is the light in dark storms.I embrace Her body tight for I feel complete.Her bond with me is ever so growing.Have you seen comets in a midnight sky?Have you gazed upon the stars of Tamriel?I say now and always, that no greater powerExists than intimate monogamy.Bless me Goddess with Your delicious affection,For Your favor upon me is everlasting.See my deeds, and see that they are just and pure.Turn to me, and see the courage. This was followed by several minutes of silence.“You still there?” Gunther grunted after a time.“Yeah, yeah, keep your shirt on, I’m trying to figure a route for you on the computer,” Chip retorted, and this was again followed by silence.“Damn!” finally came over the phone, but it was followed by silence again.“How do we get there?” Joey finally asked, as Gunther had gotten out to make a pit stop and get more beer at the fueling station where they had stopped.“Man, there’s all kinds of local roads that go there, but you have to switch roads all of the time, and you knot heads are sure to get lost,” Chip finally told him.“Can’t we just put it in the GPS?” Joey asked.“You can try it if you want, but I’ll guarantee that you’re going to get lost on all of those small country roads. The best route I can find is a bit longer, but it’s mostly Interstate, and you should be able to move faster on it without getting lost,” Chip finally told him in a voice full of despair.“Well, what is it?”.
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