" She was right behind me where I had thought she had gone to her room."Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were there."She smiled again, picked up the mug of coffee I had poured for her and beckoned me through. "I'll just get dressed, then we can get started." I shrugged mentally. Oh well, I'd obviously got it wrong. I was even more amazed therefore when she just stripped off in front of me. I turned my back politely, though I didn't really want to."Am I that ugly now?" she asked softly."Er, no, but ..."Her voice had laughter in it. "I thought you wanted to see me naked."I turned to look at her. She wasn't looking at me, in fact I got the distinct impression she was deliberately looking away from me, but she was also asking me, inviting me, to look at her whilst she got dressed. Her figure had thickened over the years, and her small boobs had grown somewhat and become a little saggy. Her bum was still relatively firm, but her thighs and buttocks had stretch marks. I couldn't see her. Almost everyone gave me a hug, and I cried a little bit. The world was a shitty place in so many ways. Peter had chosen to opt out of that world to survive, building his own little universe. I must be careful not to tear down that universe, but it would be nice if his world could expand into mine and the other way around. Peter ‘Changes’, Band of Gypsys version. Yes, there were changes coming. I had given myself permission to hope, and hope I would. I was banging along on my drums to the music in my head, longing for my left arm. It would soon be with me again, the pain was just a violet whisper now. I was hoping for a life with Magda, of course – that was old new already. I was hoping for friends and perhaps to play in a band. Could I? Maybe, with the right people. I would ask Bettan and Erik if they wanted to play with me sometime. Could I play on stage, with a crowd? Maybe. One step at a time. I had to synch myself better with Magda, time-wise. I couldn’t live my life at nights.
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