I saw him looking at me and then quickly looking away. There was a moment when he gave me a hug and a tender kiss on the neck from behind just after dinner. His hands that were around me moved up toward my breasts. I would have let it happen, but he quickly let go of me and turned and left the house without saying goodbye.Finally, it was bedtime. Just as I got in bed, my phone rang. I quickly answered, “John, sweetheart.”“Mom, about last night. You know I am not going to be able to stop thinking about it.”I could not blame him. I loved John with all my heart and soul, but what we were doing could not in any way be perceived as a mother’s maternal love for her son. It was nothing more than pure lust on my part, and I imagined on his part too.“I know, Honey. I can’t either.” I admitted.“I need to know where this is going. I will not be able to stop wondering when you will come to my room or ask me to join you. I thought about this all day. We either need to stop completely right now,. . you know ... making a lot of money ... would you tell Al?" Fuck, Jake. What kind of a question is that?" Yeah. Sorry. Maybe I should have turned it around. If Al made a bunch of money, would he tell you?" That isn't any better! Besides, don't you think that doesn't go through my mind every month. We live on Al's commissions. We live month to month. Some months are good and some aren't. We get by, but shit, it's tough some times. I'd hate to think Al would hold out on me." I think that's what's bugging me. I'm holding out on Judy and I'm not sure why." That's easy. You don't trust her." She said it flatly without any hesitation."You think?" I know. I can tell. There's something wrong between you two and I'm pretty damn sure it isn't you." Why do you say that?" I know you, Jake. You are right up front. Straight ... no bullshit. I can tell down deep, you're hurting. I've seen how Judy treats you when she thinks no one is paying attention. Maybe you don't want to see it, but I do. She.
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