The silly thing is, I suppose, that he didn’t expect any reward in any sense of the word. All I knew was that, as I lay there in his arms, gazing into his arms, I felt safe and powerfully sexy. I NEEDED HIM. This is all very confusing and it doesn’t read very well but it was how I felt. I also needed to experiment, no not in that way, but to find out whether I was able to put this masochistic/sadistic thing behind me. Could I make love with someone I loved and not want him or her to hurt me, or to hurt them. I felt that I could because of my feelings for him but I was still unsure. Anyway, he pulled away from me saying, ‘I’m sorry Jo, but I must get something to eat then take Lena to work. You stay in bed if you want.’ I didn’t want to but I lay there for a few moments watching him get dressed, taking in him, and, to some extent, suppressing my desire for him which wouldn’t be very appropriate over the breakfast table. He finished dressing and I got up and threw on a dressing gown.. Then Greta could be heard shouting above the din: ‘DNA!’ ‘What?’ Ann’s voice again in the silence that followed. ‘DNA evidence, Mum. It’s true. It’s Daddy.’ Silence fell again. ‘But how..?’ ‘We needed proof he was really Daddy, so I took a DNA test. He is my father!’ ‘But, I don’t follow? I tried the hospital.’ ‘This was Newcastle General, I’m a nurse. I was on the team that admitted him.’ ‘Newcastle? But he was in York.’ ‘Mrs. Jonsson. Will you now see your ex-husband?’ Silence. Then a quiet, ‘Yes. Of course.’ There was the sound of chairs moving and then they came round the corner. I was seated on the bench seat which ran along the wall. ‘Hello Ann. You’re certainly difficult to talk to.’ I saw the realisation begin to dawn. First there was the searching. The voice was familiar, then understanding, then horror at my condition, than anger again. The anger won. ‘Allan? It’s you isn’t it?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘You saw me at that restaurant and said nothing. Then you danced with me at the Dinner,.
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