. because; you see I myself do not necessarily believe it. It is only because I lived it, ah ... am yet living it that I am persuaded of its truth; and my hope is to eventually convince myself it was destiny and not random chance or hallucination. But whenever I look into a mirror and into my eyes the thing takes shape again and I know it to be true.It was April 12th 2006. I was driving home in the dreaded Los Angeles five o'clock traffic, and of course I was stuck behind this woman in her huge sports utility vehicle. She wasn't paying attention to anything other than whoever was on the other end of her cell phone. As we were getting ready to merge onto the freeway I noticed an eighteen wheeler coming on fast, which suggested that all merging traffic should either, break speed and wait until it passed, or speed up in order to merge in front of the truck. This woman never even noticed the oncoming truck and she pulled out going at least 10 miles an hour slower than the eighteen-wheeler. .. and they botheredhim a lot.He woke up, but didn't open his eyes. Instead, his brain was fixated onall the different sensations his body was feeling. The newest sensationof course was the bra and the pressure from the breast forms. He stillcouldn't believe he was wearing them - even to bed. The bra felt likeit was irritating his skin wherever it touched him. He couldn't wait toget it off and take a shower. The breast forms in it were heavy too andhe was tired of the constant pressure. He couldn't wait to remove themwith the bra. He wanted nothing more than to scratch his chest under itall. It would feel so good!His pacifier was in his mouth again. He barely remembered grabbing itlast night after he had finished his last bottle. He was sucking on itwithout really realizing he was doing it. He had barely even registeredthat the thing was in his mouth. Yet it felt good and comforting tohave it there.He wanted so much to make a fist with his hands, even a light one, butthe.
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