I had no desire to be a grownup. But by my thirty-first year I was getting bored with shaking down the software industry. And since I had squirreled away about nine million dollars at that point. I thought I might attempt my first foray into the adult world.It was the sort of naïve exploit that I am legendary for. I just loaded up a backpack and bought a one-way ticket to Bimini Island, in the Bahamas.I actually had a couple of not very well thought out - but nonetheless valid – motives for doing that.My most important reason was weather. It had sucked my whole life. The temperature was either setting new lows, or highs. And the clouds, rain and snow in Ann Arbor were perpetual. So I wanted to live in year-around summer.However, moving to a hip-happening place like Miami was totally out of the question. Especially given my social skills. And I am allergic to geezers. So the Southwest was out.The main reason why I chose Bimini was the population, which was all of 2,000 year-round. Too, although I make it seem formal, none of this was set out in any discussion, it simply evolved, my wife took less and less interest, turned me down more and more often, I learned most of the time not to ask, rather than be not only turned down, I even tried nagging, which resulted in even less success. A gradual de- cline, negative reinforcement, and observation of trends (a married man learns to be aware of the PMS cycle at any rate, and this worked on a similar part of the monthly ebb and flow…) led to our sad state of affairs. More desperate for satiation of late, I have begun frequenting first strip clubs, where naked women would take an interest in me at the paltry price of a dollar a dance on stage, or a few times a night a more per- sonal striptease for a five or (times change) a ten. After this, I began visiting “modeling studios” as a capper for the evening, where $30 would buy a private room and progressive tips of fives (as many as a dozen, in some.
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