" I mumbled to myself. I proceeded to try and drink the coffee black but failing in the process, I coughed it up all over the counter. I put the cup in the sink. Then stepped out side.The sun glared in my eyes causing me to squint. I saw Natalie, her and I haven't really talked much since we had sex a couple weeks back. I went back inside to pack my stuff up, a camp-out in the woods up in northern California. I packed a sleeping bag, 1 man tent and my hygiene items and bungy-corded then on my bike with Red & Black cords. "Prospect! Get your ass over here!" shouted Knuckle. I ran toward him. I saw with another guy about my age with only a bottom rocker. "This is Prospect Shady, he came from Northern Cali, he's prospecting for us now, he started a week before you so you shouldn't have to show him the ropes." I stuck my hand out and shook his firmly "Duece." I said. He shook back just as firmly. He rode a Dyna Fat Bob painted Red & Black."It'll be fun not riding in the back by myself. After all,I had been raped when you get right down to it. I began to understandjust a little how a woman felt when she was subjected to nonconsensualsex. In some ways, I may have felt even worse than a woman would. Idon't mean that insensitively. I knew that women had the additionalburden of worrying if a rapist had impregnated them, but on the otherhand, most women I knew grew up with the knowledge that it could happento them. I don't think I ever worried as a man about being raped by awoman, and I doubt if there is a man alive who ever anticipates itcould happen to him. It made me feel powerless in a way I had neverimagined before.My father had brought me some fresh clothes from home in anticipationof my release. It felt good to dress in something besides theutilitarian sweats. Once in a white polo shirt and gray slacks, I feltmy self-confidence returning somewhat. Looking at myself in the mirror,my kidnapping and sexual assault seemed like something from a baddream.Sarah ushered.
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