She tried out a dozen answers, but they all frightened her. Did it mean she wanted to feel wanted? She knew that Xeno had spent millennia wanting her. Did it mean she wanted to feel needed? Again she knew he needed her, he had spoken of that need and yet had been willing to set it aside to insure her comfort. She spoke out loud, "Xeno, you love me, don't you?" Very much, Revekah." It is very frightening for me to know that. I am terrified to love you. I love the voice in my head. But when I look at you, how different you are from me, I can't come to terms with that. You don't look right. You don't feel right. You don't even smell right. All I get from you is this continual feeling of wrongness. And then I close my eyes and I hear your voice in my head and it is music. I am confused as hell. And all I know is I need something more if I am going to make this thing work." I would do anything to make you happy, Revekah." Could you come here? But leave the lights off. Just come and sit on. Any time they want, as much as they want, any hole they want.” She paused, trying to read Trevor’s face. When he said nothing she continued.“So that’s how it was, at first. They’d visit me one at a time, fuck, and go. We progressed to threesomes, and full on group sex, everyone together. What surprised me though was how bored I got. Not with the sex, but with life in general, not having anything to keep busy. When the guys were at work or school or whatever, I had all this time to think, and it made me want more. I started letting them do other things, outside the usual arrangement. The more they felt like they were doing degrading things to me, the more excited and fulfilled I felt.”“And here we are.” Trevor concluded, gesturing at her naked body in the dim light.“And here we are.” Tegan agreed. “Sam didn’t know I was going to do that tonight. He tried to trick me into doing it on his terms but I refused. Then did it anyway. Because that’s apparently who I am now. In some ways I.
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