Explain it to me...”“Mooo-ooommmm.” Two syllables again. “He’s just RIGHT. Didn’t you tell me one time that Dad was just RIGHT?”“Baby,” I said, “yes, I did. But I was graduating college and your dad had just gotten his first teaching position.” And when the words came out of my mouth I knew EXACTLY how my Munchkin would parse them.Her arms folded. She put her weight on one leg, cocked the other, gave her head a shake to deal with a stray strand of hair, and carefully fixed me in her gaze. “Mother, I’m IN college...”The aneurism would be a welcome event.I did the only thing I could do in clear conscience. I wrapped my daughter in my arms, acknowledging that she was no longer just a little girl. She was a young woman, a young LADY.Saturday morning we went through an expanded ritual of preparing for this landmark event in my daughter’s life.By late morning the whole of the community is following us into our synagogue. It’s our community. They celebrate our Jewishness with us, every one. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying job of royal forecaster.The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”So the king hired the donkey. Thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work for the government and paying them outrageous salaries to occupy its highest and most influential positions.The practice is unbroken to this day.Compliments of limabMy flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who was camping it up outrageously. He seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”On his trip back up the aisle, he.
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