Her eyes glowed. She looked up towards her father to see if he too noticed this lucky chance. Akbar face showed no sign that this information had sunk in. Gulnaz noticed her daughter's subtle change in mood, she could almost feel even subtle changes in her children's feelings and mood, so close was she to all three and they to her.Dinner continued until late. Children soon rushed to AV room to see movies. Older children used the other living room to play games and see more mature stuff.Adults filtered into the main third living room with different drinks, cheeses, and snacks. Before Shabnam moved her hand away, Shahnaz held it in her hands and kissed her palm as a simple gesture of love. Shabnam had aborted her potentially controversial response earlier. Shabnam simply mussed Shahnaz's hair replying as if that's the reason why she was there.The family entertained the guests gracefully. Shahnaz played like a child with young children howling with laughter sharing their fun of. At 12, when a young boy's hormones start kicking in, and I startedgetting somewhat interested in girls, what seemed to make me attractedto them was ribbons and white tights. Now my mother did have a coupleof daughters and I noticed how much attention they got and my motherappeared to be much closer to them. I mean she got to dress them inpretty dresses and white tights, putting ribbons in their hair. I thinkyou get the idea. Since my brother told me that I wasn't wanted and Inoticed that my mother spent a lot of time with my sisters, I wasfeeling pretty upset about failing her by not being a girl.I've talked to a counselor about this and she said my mother failed meby not paying attention to me. I'll agree with that observation. Butthat embarrassing 2nd grade event kept coming back to me. I enjoyed theembarrassment of having to wear a ribbon in my hair. At 12, a boyfigures something about masturbating, and my thought was if I couldonly be born over, and was born a girl, Mother would.
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