” Nine, eight, seven, I can’t tell this won’t be heaven. “She’s a Gypsy who got kicked out of her caravan for being a whore. Is there anyway she can get any lower?” Ten, ten, ten, shit, here it comes again! “Odpierdol siê! I left the caravan because my ideas on how a woman should behave were too revolutionary for that band of small-minded reactionaries.” “Yeah, and your ass was too fat for the wagon.” Knead dough until smooth, and roll until flat. I need to drink some whiskey from a flagon. For the next round, auntie and my girl exchanged the nastiest stares. As I cut my noodles into thin strips, I feel so very scared. After a seeming eternity, my sweetheart screams, “Dzukli,” and spits on the ground. Rocket’s ass peeks out of her candy red vinyl dress as she climbs pissed-off upstairs. “Why don’t you want to marry a nice Jewish girl?” “Auntie, I’m not exactly into nice Jewish girls.” “Oh Gawd, that shiske tsatskele turned into a bum-humping feygele, didn’t she? Oy vey, I could deal. After some photographs there was a photograph of Nitu’s neighbour. She was sunbathing in balcony without a shred of cloth on her. Nitu photographed her to show the lifestyle that is quite common in USA. The lady was quite flabby with huge bushy undergrowth. The pic looked ugly. I asked Nitu, why have you taken photograph of such ugly fat cow, you could have asked her to take your such photograph instead. Nitu said, I also did sun bathe like that in my balcony. I asked her to show that photograph instead. Nitu said – what will do looking at the photograph when the real one is present. In that I asked, “OK in that case why don’t you show. I am sure you look better.Nitu said – you can’t ask a lady to shed her clothes just like that. There is a proper way to ask. We were quite tipsy at that time, I said you are my friend – teach me. Nitu said – you must kiss and then beg. So I put my lips on Nitu’s and sucked her tongue inside my mouth and gave her a long kiss.Then I took a sip of whisky.
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