I watched through the chemotherapy and the radiation treatments as my dear sweet wife fought to hold onto life, but it was too much for her and the cancer won the battle and she was gone. I wanted revenge! I wanted to make someone pay for the hurt I was feeling, but who? It was cancer after all. There was no individual who had attacked my lovely Sarah, just a faceless killer totally unaware of its own crimes."During the worst of my grief I learned just how much her family cared for me. I had been drinking, trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol, when Sarah's brother came over to visit me. Next to the bottle of booze on the table was a gun I had been preparing to end my life with. Rob saw the gun and did the last thing I would have expected the big man to do. He didn't try to take the gun away from me or tell me how stupid I was; he just burst into tears and told me that it was already so hard to have lost his dear sweet sister and he didn't know how he could live with himself if he. She had the most serene smile on her face. She smiled at me and held her arms up to me. I gently hugged and kissed her, softly saying, "You brought us all a little Janet."She told the two women that the doctor couldn't get over how red the baby's hair was and that it was too early for them, but she had thousands of freckles everywhere. I told the doctor that's what hooked my husband."A nurse wheeled the baby in and said we would have to leave because Jeannie was going to try to feed her. Jeannie said, "Oh, come on. We're farmers and we're not bashful about nursing. It's natural and necessary. Little Janet will be happy her daddy was with us when she finds out he was here for her first meal."The nurse obviously wasn't used to people being so open, but it was true. We were just a lot more natural about some things.The nurse was going to take the rolling bassinet to the nursery when the feeding was complete, and Janet was burped. Jeannie asked, "Can we keep her for a while? We'll call.
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