But thankfully, before our story gets too depressing, that’s when my luck changed and this ugly duckling got a shot at ‘swandom’. And the catalyst for this wonderful Hallelujah moment was a move from the old world to the new. Because that’s where I met Sue, this amazing woman with whom I’ve shared my life these last twenty-six years.I was working in international development consulting and had just relocated with my firm from London to New York, to be close to the UN HQ as the global fountain-head of money for our industry. A colleague, Alan, decided to take pity on the lonely British guy and invited me to a party at NYU, his old alma mater where he’d studied economics.I’m forever grateful to Alan because that invitation changed my life, as that’s where I met Sue. She was the quietest and to my eye the prettiest, of a gaggle of four semi-drunk nurses. The four of them had just returned from a holiday in the U.K. and so they wanted to talk about all things British. And never being much. ‘I’m also very worried you may be too big for her, if you know what I mean. That sort of thing can ruin a woman.’ I was curious about how sticking with me meant Gloria no longer had a life ahead of her. Wouldn’t I be giving her the life she wanted? Women, particularly mothers and older, have a habit of saying things that only serve to confuse. But this mom then came clean. ‘Look, why don’t you finish with Gloria and take on Liz. She’s your age and size so would be a wonder receptacle for you. Her father and I am worried she’ll miss out on a suitor if she doesn’t get one soon.’ ‘A wonderful receptacle for you’. Did that mean what I thought it meant? Christ, women are not afraid to paint word pictures, although this one was almost too subtle for me. ‘No thanks, Gloria and I are thinking about getting engaged.’ ‘Ohmigod, so soon. I thought that once you two began, er, became intimate you would be satisfied with your lot for quite some time. After all, that’s only what men are really.
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